Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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