I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
whose ass print is on the piano?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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