Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
