i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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