Whod you bang
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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