I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Im part way to drunk.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize