Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
