I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
