Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
