I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
well you can't waste a boner
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
