i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
