There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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