if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Boobs speak an international language.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Randomize
