just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
