actually, I'm a sock model
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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