like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
