Are we in a gay sports bar?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize