Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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