I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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