I bet he comes in French.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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