i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
