So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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