need another drink. this is the easiest way
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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