I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
