And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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