did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Shame - the story of my life.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
