Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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