I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
