Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize