We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize