so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
