u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
