I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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