my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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