Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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