His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
