last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize