no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
