and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
