Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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