Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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