Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
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