I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
