apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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