It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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