I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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