I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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