I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize