There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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