You're my little dorito
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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