I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
