Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
