.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
