While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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