I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
