i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
