Got a toothbrush?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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