I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
