he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize