We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
