She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
