I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize