Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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