just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
