I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize