I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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