Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
