wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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