A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
