I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
