im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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