Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
