He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
